‘Those Three Girls’ are a comedy writing/performing trio who won the 2013 Sitcom Mission with their Sitcom, ‘Girlband’, which follows the fans of a 90’s pop band (check out the trailer). We asked them to put together a short video to explain how they took ‘Girlband’ from script to pilot.

Girlband is being screened at The Crystal Palace International Film Festival on Sun 12th November, 3PM at Stanley Halls, London SE25 6AB. The girls will be doing a Q+A afterwards. Tickets cost £5 and are still available here.

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By Sebastian Bance (feature image by https://www.gregdaviesartanddesign.com/)

My experiences.

Me: “We want you to draw a snakebike.” (Long pause)
Jack: “What?”
Me: “Snakebike. A snake which can shape-shift into a bike. Can you draw that?”
Jack: “Yeah, when do you need it by?”

This sort of conversation is why I love animation. An absurd idea of a shape-shifting bike luring a boy to his death that had only existed in my writing partner’s mind a few weeks before, is about to be brought to life by an artist called Jack (he’s good, see below).

I’ve always loved animation and comedy. Growing up I was hooked on The Simpsons and that style of anything can happen comedy is what has drawn me to animation. If you can think it, someone can draw it. A lot of our ideas at Gas Tank Productions start out with Adam, Greg and I coming up with ridiculous scenarios to make each other laugh and then gradually building in more and more plot points and ridiculous characters. Adam and I, then write a script and Greg draws some amazing artwork (like the snake wrapped around the boy above). We then send it to Oliver, our exec, for final checks.

We seem to have found a niche in the market with comedy first storytelling for kids. There are lots of fantastic artists out there, but not a lot of people with storytelling or comedy backgrounds. Our experience of working in comedy our entire careers really gives us a leg up on that front. Plus, it means we know lots of amazingly talented writers and comedians who we can collaborate on projects with.

Our first experience of the animation industry was when we had a 3-minute trailer animated a few years ago. The trailer was a good investment, it taught our team a lot about the world of animation and improved us as writers and artists. The trailer gave us a product to show the industry when we first went to the Children’s Media Conference and a frame of reference to streamline the development of our next shows.

We now focus on developing our concepts and making animatics (moving storyboards, with sound) to accompany those concepts. Animatics are relatively cheap to make, they don’t take a lot of time – 1 month versus 1 year – and they provide a very good idea of what the final product might look like for the people we are pitching to.

Gas Tank Productions recently won a government grant to go to Kidscreen, a huge animation festival in Miami, and will be part of the trade delegation being sent by The Children’s Media Conference and the Department for international Trade.

For more information on Gas Tank Productions or to send us an idea for a show please email Sebastian@gastankproductions.com

By James Dann

Sweetcorn is a short film written, conceived and gestated by myself, James Dann and Michael Westwood. It’s made from the cast and crew of Chicago Rice, our Manchester based sketch show. The Sweetcorn plot came from when myself and Michael were up in Glasgow sat outside a Wetherspoons and pondering the surrealness of the world. After a few J2O’s and tap waters (with lemon) we realised that the corn-in-a-cup phenomenon was one of the strangest things we’d seen all year (and we’d seen 4 strange things that year). We didn’t quite understand why a hot cup of corn was appetizing or appealing, yet still people flocked to the truck like it was the next gold rush (a name for the film we toyed with for a while, then dismissed one afternoon after ‘Gold Rush’ returned a lot of hits on Google)

So on a limited budget of nothing we went out to shoot our first short! The first stage was getting a tracking dolly to follow behind us as we’re chased by security. The way we got over this was having our D.O.P, Dan Thorburn hang out the back of our actor (Julian Leiners) car as he drove at a steady speed infront and behind us. It was then that I realised what it must feel like to be a dog and run after a car. The thrill of the chase, the heat of the moment, the exhilaration of the diesel fumes that keep you pumping and in a wonderful acting haze.

The technical crew we used were friends that have worked on numerous projects with us before. We’ve all been actors and film makers on eachothers projects at some point in the past. I found Dan Thornburn, the D.O.P, through Facebook when applying as an actor for a short film he made. Dom Old, who did the colouring, is Dan’s colleague and now we all work on films together. The sound was done by Abul Husain, who was a flatmate of Michael Westwoods (M in Sweetcorn) and did most of the sound / sound design for Chicago Rice’s sketches (www.chicagorice.com)

Sourcing the window to throw corn from was another challenge of the film. We had to door-to-door knock on buildings in the Northern Quarter until one agreed to let us do the shot. So one day we walked up the stairs of a corporate office carrying through tins of sweetcorn, pans and corn cobs.

The main thing which stands to mind is how much tinned sweetcorn actually smells and sticks on you. The water is much more dense and congealed that one might think – and every night we ended the day by rinsing and draining corn starch from our hair and bodily extremities. It’s nice like a cleansing ritual of the old, reminds you what it must have felt like to have a good harvest.

So, without further adue, you can check Sweetcorn out here! https://vimeo.com/235842221

Also please see www.chicagorice.com for all of our other sketches.

Thanks!

James Dann

by Shawn Wickens

Someone once told me, “The creation of any work of art is an invitation for people to hate it.” I can’t remember who said that, maybe a teacher or fellow comedian or a friend. But as an artist – someone who appreciates and even longs for approval, that quote rings true. We all want to be laughed at and applauded and celebrated but fear harsh rejection.

On the other hand, we’re also told to tread new ground. Remember to think outside the box, break the rules, and push boundaries. But push too hard… your audience might push back. If it’s too different, people might just not “get it”.

Approval vs. Artistic Integrity is a tough balance to maintain. In 2012, when my good friend Gavin Starr Kendall and I decided to start a theater festival – we landed on a name that energized the both of us: Bad Theater Fest. Theater is supposed to provoke so “BAD” felt right. It felt “New York City-ish”, we loved that it conveyed a certain amount of safety to the performers so they could experiment and try anything, it cleverly undersold the audience and… it got press. The name alone got us local, national and international press. But back when it was just an idea, several friends and colleagues warned us that Bad Theater was a horrible choice for a name. Five years later, the festival continues to turn a modest profit, the participating shows make a little money (most festivals won’t even give you a dime) and it easily spawned a Bad Film Fest.

When I decided to put out my own album of material, various sets recorded at different NYC open mics, I received similar advice:
– don’t do it
– that’s a horrible idea
– it’ll never work

The decision to record and release my open mic appearances was a happy accident. In January of this year, I spent a lot of time and effort to record a 15 minute set for comedy festival submissions. The video was completely unusable which was disheartening. Later that week I dragged myself out to a new open mic and overheard two comedians discussing recording their sets with their phones. “Do you ever review your material?” “Nope. I never listen. I don’t even know why I record them. I never do anything with the files.” With that, I had another “bad” idea.

I didn’t care that the recordings were a little inferior or the sets weren’t perfect. I didn’t even care that I bombed (a little… on track 5). It doesn’t matter that my very first album is not perfect because… it doesn’t have to be. Over 4-5 months I recorded over 20 sets across NYC. I chose my favorite seven tracks, my friend Marshall York recorded a song to close out the album (also cause “why not?”) and just like that… SILLY JOKES @ SORRY OPEN MICS is up on Spotify, iTunes, Amazon, Tidal, Youtube and more.

So far it has one review. Comedy Cake called it “Pure, unadulterated comedy at it’s finest.” Pretty good. Maybe it’ll get more, maybe not. Personally I think it’s a pretty ballsy experiment in presenting some unpolished material. Plus maybe the second album will be even better. Some people will like it. Some people will probably hate it too. Comedy is hard. Sometimes people don’t laugh. That’s no reason to give up. You just need to try harder or try something a little different.

—

Shawn Wickens is originally from Cleveland and now lives in New York City. He just sold out two shows in his Fringe debut at the Rochester Fringe Festival. It was a stand-up show called GOOD JOKE/BAD JOKE BINGO that several friends also had told him sounded like “an idea that would never work”.

@shwickens
BadFilmFest.com
and check out this brand new BOOK! Only $5.99 on Amazon.

By Marysia Trembecka

We have just passed the midway point of Edinburgh Fringe (it runs for three and a half weeks in August) and all us Fringe performers are feeling the constant pressure of the shows, late nights, the stresses of ensuring we have audiences that day. Plus there is the need to smooth over the rollercoaster of the Fringe audience and reviews: perhaps a great but tiny audience, a pointedly nasty review, venue and cast dramas, drunken audience members who will not shut up and keep speaking at the punchlines. Also many performers now are feeling the pressure on their voices and health, with the shows, the flyering and celebrating after.

I am doing two solo shows every day at Edinburgh Fringe 2017, one comedy/cabaret “The Singing Psychic Game Show”, the other a political theatre cabaret piece “Queen Of The F*cking World”, so Comedy Crowd asked me to write a survival guide to get through the last 10 days of Edinburgh Fringe.

Your Voice
Many comics are not trained performers but even some of my trained actor friends find by mid-point of the Fringe that they are losing their voices. So here are some tips to get you through the Fringe. I have been training daily vocally for a few months as I sing as well but still I am using all these tricks to keep the voice going.

Sleep! You need for your voice and general health to get as much rest in where you can. I always go for a cheeky disco nap in the afternoon where possible. Even 20 minutes will help your head space and get your voice rested.

Alcohol… It is not that bad for you actually in moderation, yes it does dry your throat out but you can counteract it by drinking more water etc. What is bad for you though is yelling in the bar after your show at your friends. Trying to get heard over a crowd of people means you push your vocal chords, and that is far worse than drinking a bit. Of course the more you drink the more you forget to look after your voice as you talk loudly to your friends. Find quieter bars where possible. I only drink once a week at the Fringe as I am doing two shows a day and they are both solo shows and I sing. It is hard especially when friends and family come and see the show and want to celebrate but you will lose or at least tire out your voice if you drink too often. The last week of the Fringe I do let that once a week rule slip …

Steaming: this is old skool but still works. Boil a kettle and pour the boiling hot water into a bowl, breakfast bowl size upwards. Put a towel over your head and breathe in the steam for a few minutes. Be careful not to knock boiling hot water over yourself… Steaming immediately rehydrates the vocal chords so I do it last thing at night when I get home from my gigs and also first thing in the morning. I also inhale the steam and sip mugs of hot water in between my two shows, they are two hours apart. I am a complete coffee addict but Edinburgh Fringe is an emergency so the hot water has to take precedence. You will often see me with a mug of coffee and a mug of hot water.

If all else fails and you are losing your voice, shut up. A entire day of vocal rest will really help. Do not whisper, it is terrible for the voice.

Mental Health
The pressure to sell your show to audiences, indifferent responses to flyering and getting press in is immense. We all have to remind ourselves daily that we are one of over 3,800 shows at this 70th Edinburgh Fringe Festival, being here with a show is a massive success in itself. There is always the brilliant show you performed last night but tonight you have a third of the numbers and a reviewer in, the million things you need to do. Having two very different shows for me makes my morning to do list insane. Separate the flyering from your shows, what happens on the Royal Mile has nothing to do with how good your show is. Do not let anyone’s response to your flyering or indeed your show affect how you get out on stage each day.

If you get the crazy negative voices in your head, stop them and think of something positive. Learn to switch the negative thoughts off and focus on gratitude every time, from being thankful you are getting to partake in the world’s largest arts festival to taking time out for a walk (or in my case a sneaky cup of coffee). If you meditate or find time to exercise, do as much of it as possible.

Audience Numbers
I know of a great show here this year that has been nominated for awards and yet has had to cancel three performances this year due to no shows. I have never had that happen (currently praying it never will) but it must be so difficult to not be effected by it. I have focused on really great marketing images in the run up to try and lift my shows to be noticed.

I am doing PBH Free Fringe again (they are amazing!) and so I never have an idea how many people are going to turn up til I get out on the stage as it is unticketed. We do a bucket collection at the end. It can be so easy to walk on stage, see your audience and think oh there are less people in tonight and let that affect your performance from the off. Remember even an audience of one is someone who is giving you an hour of their precious time, they chose your show not the other few hundred that they could be in instead 😉 . Word of mouth is the magic that happens at Edinburgh, if you bring the best work you can, you will see the numbers growing. I saw it last year and this and it is magic. Plus there is bound to be one night where for some mystic reason the audience drops. Relax about it.

The other issue is expectations, both my shows are doing very well, standing room only some nights. However I want to be full every show twice a day, and I am at the Voodoo Rooms for my Singing Psychic show, so a bigger room than last year. However big your room gets you will always be wanting to get bigger, it is human. Just do not let it get in the way of enjoying the shows you have got and the audience you have in front of you.

Reviews
Some years no matter what you do, you do not seem to get the reviewers in, other years they turn up anyway. My only rule here which I am very strict about is not to read any reviews whilst I am doing the shows. I have got my mum or friends to read them and tell me if there is a quote or stars I can use on the flyers. Good reviews (of which I have had many four or five stars for my Singing Psychic) do not help me get out the next day and perform to the audience you have that night who want to determine their own opinion. Bad reviews will stick in your head forever and can affect the performance.

I currently have had only two reviewers in for my Queen show, neither have yet written anything, though my audiences are growing and telling me how they love it. I want reviews so I can tour it but beyond asking politely again, I am just focusing on the fact I have a niche show on sexual politics and those who turn up are turning into mad advocates for the show.

Marysia Trembecka
www.marysiatrembecka.com
Twitter @marysiat

The Singing Psychic Game Show – Trailer: https://youtu.be/247goJVrhp4

Ed Fringe Info link Singing Psychic https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/singing-psychic-game-show

Venue 68 – The Voodoo Rooms 21.30-22.30 Sat 5th to Sun 27th Aug (not 16th)

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Queen Of The F*cking World – Trailer: https://youtu.be/d2Y6ZBUKq94

Ed Fringe Info link  https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/queen-of-the-f-cking-world

Venue 239 –  The Street, 18.30-19.30 6-26^th Aug (not 16th)

P.S. You can also read Marysia’s 8 tips for performing at the Fringe here

Michael James Dean is the founder of comedy production company Posh Dinosaur Productions. He has recently finished taking their latest film “Already Dead” on a successful year long film festival run. Now he’s taken the time to answer questions on setting up a production company, making a short comedy film and entering festivals.

There is huge value in here for anyone who wants to do this themselves. We think this is a fantastic resource, so lets get straight into the Q&A:

POSH DINOSAUR PRODUCTIONS

Why did you set up your own production company and what are the benefits of doing it?

In 2011 I sadly lost my father to cancer and I was filled with an enormous sense that I was under achieving. I had always wanted to make a career in film & tv and for many years I had worked as an actor in self funded projects and with minimal success in auditions. I fell into a severe low and I found the only way to push out of that was to fill my days with writing. I had always created and had written several scripts for stage and screen and found it was the perfect way to pull me through the grief.

I sat down and had an idea to create a show based around the idea of a young man who was diagnosed with Cancer on his 30th birthday and is giving twelve months to live. He decides rather than give in to the inevitable he is going to write a bucket list and complete all the things he can on the list, the idea was that each episode the audience would decide what from the list he would choose. I met with someone who was interested in helping me with the project and in our first meeting she told me that nobody would listen to me as I was essentially a nobody, sounds harsh but it was true. How could I justify a large budget idea when I have no track record. She suggested I create my own production company as it would mean I would be taken seriously, harder to ignore the president of a company right?

Sadly the project never came to fruition, however it got me through a tough part of my life and in turn the decision to create Posh Dinosaur Productions was born. I started the company with one goal to help create opportunities for those who found it hard to break into the industry.  Nearly four years on I am proud to say we have people that have worked alongside us that have gone on to bigger things including working in Hollywood.

We have grown slightly and it is an on going battle with funds and exposure but some of the happiest memories I have are from working with the amazingly talented cast and crew on our sets. The aim hasn’t changed but it has evolved as we move towards creating unique, exciting content that can reach larger audiences with the hope of larger budgets and better opportunities for creatives across the world.

Who else is involved in Posh Dinosaur and what skills do you need in a production company?

Fundamentally I run all the day to day workings myself, I talk to new clients, writers, directors, financiers, reviewers etc. The company is my vision and in we aren’t a funded company so the buck starts and ends with me. It’s both a stressful and a rewarding role but I love every new challenge I have faced.

Of course I couldn’t do any of it without the talented creatives I have worked with on all my films. I use freelancers for all my projects, I have a core of trusted creatives who I know I can always turn to including founder of production company Invisible Darkness Ricky J. Payne who has helped me create everything Posh Dinosaur has made. Darren Ruston is an extremely talented actor who I have worked with on all our projects. Also he has an extremely deep knowledge of acting and it amazes me that he is not a household name as a super talented, passionate individual. To list all those who have helped during the founding of the company I would be here forever.

In terms of key skills needed for a company my advice is to find a great producer, someone who knows how to find the right money for the right project and who can really pull a project through. If you know someone who is a social media guru this is essential in the modern age, you will not get any traction no matter how amazing your work is without someone who knows the best way to promote your work. I spend hours posting, emailing, requesting reviews and features and many times you can come up short, to have someone who can cut through all that is a god send.

Have people around you that you can trust for their honest opinion, they don’t have to be in the industry just make sure they are not your family or close friends but someone you know who can tell you honestly if they don’t like something. We can all have blurred vision sometimes and we steam ahead thinking our ideas is the greatest thing in the world but if someone had just told us to dial it in or take another route we would probably end up with a better outcome. Think of all those X-Factor hopefuls who could have saved themselves some embarrassment if someone they knew told them they sound like a cat in bag. I have several people I can turn to with my scripts and who I know will give me honest feedback on all of my work, it makes me a better creative and it pushes me to work hard.

Find yourself a group of people you love to work with whether they are runners, writers, sound designers it doesn’t matter they will fill your creative cup up and pull you through the times when you feel uninspired.

Even if like me you start on your own you will find people who value the same things as you. Learn what it is you want from your company and be honest with what you believe in, once you find that people will find you.

ALREADY DEAD – PRODUCING A SHORT FILM

How long did each stage of the process take (writing, filming and editing / post production)?

I wrote the short over two months in 2015 however with every script it changes and develops as you move into production. You will find yourself making changes right up to day one of shooting, things change; locations fall through, actors drop out, time runs out and you have to adapt.

Pre-production I always set myself around 3 months to complete. There is no doubt this could be done far quicker but because we were on a low budget I always feel if you give yourself extra time you can usually find low budget alternatives to what you need. There is a lot of waiting around when money isn’t on the table. This phase included casting, crewing, props, location and shoot prep.

The shoot took 5 days in total spread over various weeks in June 2016 they were fairly swift as we used one location for each day of shooting and due to the documentary nature of the film we wanted it to look rough and ready.

Post production took around 6 months again because of working arrangements, this period included several cuts of the film, a sound designer from the super talented Filipe Periera, music by Ed Harris and a colour grade which was the hardest part as I was particular on how I wanted the film to look and feel.

We screened a cut of the film to a selected audience in March 2016 with anonymous feedback, which I advise anyone to do. It is the most valuable experience you can have as a creative ultimately you will be showing this to an audience and if you get 70 people in a room and 60 of them tell you your ending sucks you have a problem on your hands. Luckily we had some great feedback and nothing we couldn’t change in post-production.

Finally we had our first festival on June 12th 2016. Of course your work doesn’t stop there as we placed our film in festivals for a year before we made it available online and that includes marketing material, press kits, reviewers, bloggers, screenings and networking. We started in June 2015 and I am still promoting the film now in June 2017 so it has been a long process.

We have a feature film version of the film that we are working on at the moment so the journey for Already Dead continues onwards!

Where did you find the actors for your script?

I use a variety of methods I have a pool of actors I know from working as an actor myself and from previous projects so if I feel they are right for the part I get them in for an audition or a read. I work in various roles behind camera on other projects and this means I am able to meet actors on set, this mean I can invite them to audition or read. I also use Shooting People, Casting Call Pro, Social Media any outlet I can. You will also find that when you start creating actors come to you as they are always looking for a new challenge.

If you are talking about named actors this can be far more difficult, obviously you need to have a great script to hook them and then you have to get past the agents, if you haven’t got a budget this becomes an extremely up hill battle unless you know the actor or know someone who knows them. Having said this that shouldn’t stop you contacting actors agents after all they want their clients to work and if they see a great script they are not idiots. I know several people who have secured name actors just by contacting their agents and the stars align for them. My advice is if you get a star use them to get your budget up but don’t assume they are the key to success it’s the script and all the other elements that make a great movie not just De Niro.

FILM FESTIVALS

How did you choose which film festivals to enter?

Choosing which festival to apply for is a long process. With my first film I did what most people do and that is apply for every festival I can afford. Well the money soon dries up and you’ll get rejection after rejection. Why? Well because you’ve enter festival that screen 5 short films but accept 3000 entries and you’ve entered a comedy into a drama heavy festival. You have to research your festivals, look at what they have programmed in past years, how many shorts do they accept? How many are UK short? Do they favour premieres? What’s their audience? Also know your audience, be honest with yourself is it a Horror or a Thriller, is it a gross out comedy or a romantic comedy. Once you know what your ideal audience is you’ll know what festivals are the right fit for your movie.

A great tip I got taught was never enter a late deadline. I’ve done it. You panic, it’s a great festival and you want a shot, but the truth is they have probably already chosen the line up and your money is just going to waste. Save the fee and use it on another festival there is always next year if you missed the regular deadline.

The large festivals like Sundance, Cannes, Slamdance etc are extremely hard to be a part of because everyone wants to get involved so when I apply for these I see them as betting. I accept that my $50+ is probably just going into thin air but if I get accept it will be a huge stepping stone so it’s a gamble I choose just in case. There is nothing wrong with giving it a good, just don’t do it for all the large fee festivals if you don’t have the budget.

So research is the key here get an excel table ready and find out about all the festivals you want to apply to find out if they fit your film and if they are a perfect match send them off. Ultimately there is no golden rule to getting into a festival. Just like you have different opinions to your friends and family, judges and festival programmes have their own tastes. If the right person sees your work and it hits them that’s all it takes they will fight for the films they love. Creating the best product you can is all you can really do.

Also a side note with the rise of online streaming and self distribution many filmmakers are choosing not to enter festivals but inside use their budget to market and online release or use a regulator to try and get their film on Netflix, the film industry is changing rapidly.

If you do get accepted into festivals and you can attend I urge you to do so. I have been accepted to so many film festivals that I just couldn’t attend due to funds and have missed out on some amazing opportunities to network. You don’t want Harvey Weinstein to see your film, ask where you are, only to find out you aren’t there. He will just move onto the next filmmaker he loved. Festivals are built to help you network, you and your team put in so much hard work you should get out there and tell everyone about it and you never know you might meet the person who will push your career to the next level, or your future spouse, or best friend. Who knows?

What are your top 3 tips for success at film festivals?

My three top tips for success at a festival

1. Attend (If you can) Show your support whether you made or are a part of the project, network the hell out of everyone that is there and enjoy seeing your work on screen. You honestly never know who you will meet or what you will learn from seeing other filmmakers work.

2. Don’t try and make a film that will win at festivals just make the best film you can. So many people try to second guess what festivals will want and they end up making a paint by number bore fest that nobody is interested in. Stay true to your own voice and work your butt off to make the best possible film and if it isn’t the best don’t enter it until it is.

3. Target your money. As self funded filmmakers you are likely to have little funds and most will have been spent on the production. Use that money wisely by researching every festival meticulously to ensure that money is well spent.

Can I add a 4th?

4. Don’t worry about it. Honestly your film might get accepted to 50 festivals or it might get rejected every step of the way, honestly don’t let it get to you. It’s like everything in this business you have ups and you have downs. Knowing that you love what you do will push you through and if Jeff the festival programmer doesn’t like your film screw him because not every great film won an award or played at a festival. Have confidence that your work is great, make it great and tell the world about it. We sacrifice a lot to work in this industry and if you work hard you’ll get there in the end.

Thanks for letting me answer these questions hopefully they will help some of you and if you have any other questions feel free to contact me at info@poshdinosaur.com

By Rob Morgan

So I had an idea at work. Basically I eat a lot of apples, we’re talking 4/5 a day, that’s my thing. One time I picked up an apple and a thought came to me.. ‘Imagine if a guy ate too many apples, he actually became an apple.’ That was it.

I told my flat mates and they were polite and encouraging in their response, however I don’t think they were expecting me to immediately hop an Amazon and order a discounted apple suit for next day delivery. (God bless you Amazon prime)

Originally it was meant to be a sketch idea, but we have (I have) just decided to keep on going. I’ve roped my flat mates into doing 11 of them now. I do feel bad, none of them want to be comedy writers in any way, but we just have such a laugh doing them. You can probably tell we all love and adore The Office.

I edit them all now on Final Cut Pro, previously Imovie but it was getting too limiting. I use a Canon 50d camera and a Rhode shotgun Mic for filming. For the talking heads I switch it up and use a 50mm lense which is sharper and better for static shots.. Evernote is really good for collecting ideas and writing out the rough episode beats. Also me and Jacob (flat mate) wrote and produced the theme tune using Logic X if anybody cares.

In terms of the writing process, a lot of the ideas come from actual things that have happened in the flat. We pretty much then just act it out again but with me in an apple suit. After everything’s done I then put them out on Facebook.. I won’t lie it’s very hard though to get people to watch, the internet is now so saturated and so many people are creating things it’s hard to hold people’s attention.

That’s why Chorts is good, it’s great to have a place where writers and performers can watch other people’s stuff and give good feedback. Through Chorts I also got to go to the Craft of Comedy conference and have Apple House screened, which was a great opportunity and fun experience.

More of Apple House coming soon.

By The Duntmeister

After 30 years down the Information Technology pit at the data face, I decided to throw the towel in. After throwing the towel, I then left the job, turning my back on the grey world of IT forever and breathed in the fresh clean air of . . . . well . . . . what exactly?

In a fit of peak, I had left my safe and secure job behind and was now left looking for other ways to make a living. I’ve always enjoyed writing, I’ve always enjoyed comedy and I’ve always enjoyed satire. Is it possible I could make money through writing?!

So I Googled it.

“Easy peasy”, said Google (it’s amazing how they’re getting all the colloquialisms right these days isn’t it), “loads of people do it.”

“Great. Where do I sign up?”, I typed.

“Ah”, replied Google, “you don’t sign up, first you need a blog. Anyone who wants to write for a living needs a blog! To showcase your work”.

Oh right! A blog. OK.

“Great. Where do I sign up?”, I typed.

“Ah” said Google, “we’ve done our bit, we’re just a search engine, the rest is up to you”.

Oh right. Er, thanks a lot.

I think.

Right then, I need to find out how to set up a blog. Fortunately, there’s no shortage of companies out there only too willing to help you but which one to choose? I mean there’s so many, like WordPress or Blogger or Tumblr or Weebly or Medium or Wix or Squarespace or Penzu or Svbtle and that’s just for starters!

Ignoring the fact that I felt like I was just reading a list of nonsense words, I used my strategy coin and picked Wix. No other reason. And it’s free, unless you want to host the site with your own domain name, which I did, eventually, but it meant that I could play about and see what was what before spending any money. And anyway, wasn’t the money supposed to be coming in rather than out?

The Wix site seemed easy to use and they had lots of templates to choose from and after about an hour I had a site up and running. I was well on my way to earning a fortune.

Next thing, what to blog about?! Mmm. I know. Blogging. I can blog about blogging. Hang on wait a minute, do your research, there’s loads of people out there doing that already! Alright, what about blogging about blogging about blogging?! Oops, found a couple of them already too. What about . . . no forget blogging. Try something else. What about the news? Yeah. Plenty of new material every day. I could write acerbic, witty comment on the latest stories providing an antidote to the constant barrage of negativity we get every day. News it is then.

OK. What about branding? Do I do this as me? Or do I use a persona? Does it matter?

Well, it matters to me. I plumped for using a persona – The Duntmeister. Why the name? What does it mean? Well, to be honest, it’s what my kids call me. That’s it. I could make something up, but hey, people want straight these days, so I’m giving it straight. It also gives me my domain name – www.duntmeister.com – not a lot of confusion there. Search for Duntmeister on Google and you’ll see loads of stuff. All mine I tells ya. Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

The other thing that I like about using a persona is that it allows me to stand back a bit and be his friend on Facebook. I might write to him and he might reply (he doesn’t always though). He’s quite lefty in his views (a bit like me) but he’s more outspoken than I am. It allows me to disagree with him as well if I want to (I haven’t yet, but I’m tempted 😊 ).

Alright, so that’s the easy bit done, next thing is how to attract an audience. Mmm. More Googling please.

Well there’s no shortage of advice out there that’s for sure. In fact, there’s whole industries built up around how to market your blog! In addition to the plethora of apps to support you, the companies who will happily promote you who (for a fee of course), the SEO (Search Engine Optimisation) rules to learn, networking to be done, connections to be made. Nobody told me about all this?!

With the benefit of hindsight, the marketing is the hard bit. Getting followers. You have to stick at it and find like-minded people out there who will appreciate what you are saying. Just clicking on Facebook friend suggestions doesn’t cut it (and can even breed resentment if you’re not careful). The best thing I have found to date is to pick a meme, write the blog, then root out those people/sites who you think will be receptive to it and share it with them. It would be easy to do it the other way round i.e. pick a popular meme, write about it, then share but that would be compromising my principles. I pick the story based on my own set of values.

But it’s working. Slowly. I am starting to get messages and comments from people who have seen my site but are not friends or followers and a steady trickle of people are now coming to me rather than me going to them.

Another thing to do is guest-blogging (hey look, I’m doing it now). Sharing your views across different platforms. If people like the cut of your jib, they’ll be tempted to have a poke around. If not, they won’t.

So what have I learned.

Well, I think the main thing that I have learned is that it doesn’t matter how good your blog is if no-one is reading it. This is a pitfall that I and others have fallen into. I started off spending more time on the writing than I did on the marketing and while I got a lot of personal satisfaction out of it, I might as well have been writing letters to Father Christmas and leaving them by the chimney. So it’s the other way round now. And it’s better.

So what about the money bit?

Mmm alright, well I can’t say that I have earned enough to make a living from it.

Yet.

But now that I’m doing the right things, it’s growing in the right direction!

Watch this space.

By Lorna Woolfson (@lolcov)

When I went to The Craft Of Comedy Conference in Llandudno in April, I expected, at best, to hear from some people in the comedy biz about how it all works. What I didn’t expect was that I would come away with an opportunity to submit jokes to HIGNFY every week and get incredibly detailed feedback on each submission from the brilliant Ged Parsons. But that’s exactly what has happened.

The contest was part of a welcome package for the conference. It seemed like just a bit of fun. It was such a packed conference that no time was available to focus on it. Each person was asked to come up with up to three set up lines (not captions….whatever you do, do not call them captions) for a selection of 6 photographs. We handed them in on the Friday and went through some of them, with Ged, as the very last session of the Conference on Sunday.

A couple of mine were singled out and here I am.

What amazes me each week is what a craft these jokes are. In Ged’s feedback notes, he might tweak one word or rearrange the sentence to make it flow better or to make it funnier and each time he does, you can see that he’s right.  He’s very honest too; if it doesn’t work or it’s not funny he says so.

There are five of us from the Conference who take part and a couple of guys Ged had been teaching on a course. He gives us our feedback all together so that we can see what the others are getting right and wrong as well as ourselves. He told us from the start that it is very unlikely that any of our jokes will make it on to HIGNFY as it involves not only a great photo and setup but also a hell of a lot of luck. That said, last week, one of the guys did actually get their joke on the show.  So there is hope for us all…

Notes from Ged Parsons on writing jokes for images

Lorna and Ged have kindly shared their jokes and feedback for a series of amusing images. This is a brilliant read for anyone wanting to write jokes for satirical TV, magazines or websites. In each case Lorna’s entry is first, followed by Ged Parson’s feedback and the image in question.

Theresa May has hit back at critics who have accused her of not being enough like Margaret Thatcher

See image here

Very good. Nice idea, well expressed. Just a couple of tweaks. Use the present tense. And ‘hits back’ could maybe be changed – if we make her sound positive, that will then increase the contrast with the ‘far-from-positive’ photo. This was one of several very good ones you did. My edit:

Theresa May attempts to win over critics who have accused her of not being enough like Margaret Thatcher … 

North Korea’s new Women’s Institute has celebrated the appointment of its democratically elected new leader …

See image here

Very good, with a couple of tweaks. Hide ‘North Korea’, because it gives away too much, and we then know, almost always, who it is who’s about to appear. Avoid repetition of ‘new’. Maybe overstate the electoral ‘fairness’ for comedy effect. And use the present tense. This was one of your several very good ones. My edit:

A foreign branch of the Women’s Institute celebrates the appointment of its entirely democratically-elected new leader …

Prince Harry has received a response from the Queen and Prince Charles after requesting a blessing for him to propose to Meghan Markle …

See image here

Very good, but we can tweak what’s already here. Try to get the joke’s key word, ‘response’, as close as possible to the reveal of the photo that actually shows that response, i.e. put it at the end of the set-up line. Saying ‘their’ blessing is not only more usual, it also personalises their unkind reaction more, and makes it more funnily callous. Add some objective, but telling, detail about Meghan, for clarity, and comedy effect. ‘Official’ would add some nice wrong-footing. Use the present tense. This was one of your several very good ones. My edit:

After Prince Harry asks the Queen and Prince Charles for their blessing for him to propose to American commoner Meghan Markle, he receives their official response …

Ahead of the June General Election, the Liberal Democrats seek to attract disillusioned UKIP voters.

See image here

Good photo, good joke, well-written. I’d make a bit more of Farron’s uncertain, ‘less-than-comfortable’ facial expression. It matters less in this case that we’re told what the emotion in the photo will be, because the exact nature of what they’re adopting, (the beer), remains a surprise. Submitted as:

As preparation for the Election continues, there’s evidence that the Liberal Democrats are half-heartedly adopting the same strategy as UKIP …

At the races this week, one pensioner hopes for an upturn in her fortunes …

See image here

Good photo. I don’t think we need ‘at the races’, because those details don’t need to register – the viewers will fix only on ‘win a luxury car’. We don’t need ‘this week.’ I’ve made her plight sound more desperate, and added the ambiguous ‘state benefits’. Submitted as:

As state benefits are cut even further, one pensioner takes desperate measures to try and maintain her standard of living…

By Lynsey Bonell

I’m from Amelia Comedy, and we’ve started putting on ‘comedy experiences’. I’ll be honest I’m not sold on the phrase ‘comedy experience’ but I’m 100% bought into the concept. They’re shows where the audience doesn’t just sit in their seats going “that was a clever joke”. Instead it’s something they can get involved in, be a part of it and hopefully they respond emotionally to it – an emotional response is the currency of great comedy and it’s the response we’re seeking!

The show we just ran was called ‘Save the date’ and was an improvised comedy experience where we staged an audience member’s dream wedding in the room. There were tears. Actual tears, from the bride, not us at the stress of wedding admin! That’s magic right!

So I thought I’d share how we’re creating ‘comedy experiences’*

1. Blurt it all out and follow what excites you!

When we started our planning we knew the kind of show we wanted, but we didn’t have any ideas of what that would or could be. So we started by listing all the experiences people have in their lives – getting married, having a child, buying a house. We wanted a show people would relate to and want to get involved in. All our ideas went up on a board and some ideas hit in the room way more than others. They were the ideas we’d all jump on immediately – we’d suggest bits we could do for that show, poster ideas, the set dressing etc. They were the ones we, well, cared about and connected to, and weren’t just wordplay or a funny idea. And we figured if we were all that keen it was a good gauge that other people would be. We kept track of the hits with an intricate coding system (a big circle round them). At the end of the night we had 40 ideas, and 6 clear winners!

2. Be organised and collaborate

Sorry, I know it’s dull (we’ll get to that ‘magic’ we hailed about in the article title soon), but it’s so important. Once we’d locked in Save the Date as the first of these shows we set up a google doc to keep track of all the ideas, content, research and show running order. We all live together (cue possible sitcom and terrible theme tune) but we still schedule time to meet and keep a running list of priorities so we can work on the most time sensitive bits first.

At every meeting the google doc goes up on the screen, and we bring along our home work – the jokes and research we’ve all been working on while apart (i.e. in different rooms of the flat). We pitch everything to the room, and then punch up and build on each others work.

To keep things moving when apart (when we’re all working at different tables in the same coffee shop up the street) we use slack and what’s app to share links, research, ideas, promo copy and images and actions so the show can keep on growing. We’ll then regroup again with that doc and add news bits, rejig and improve on earlier ideas.

3. Don’t be scared of work

You need to put in those hours. We’d all been to weddings, but that wasn’t enough. We broke down every element of a marriage and wedding from proposal to get driving off in a ‘just married’ car with cans attached. We say ‘examine your topic like scientists and detectives’. Capture all your thoughts, dig deep, don’t just scratch the surface. We wanted to know about weddings from every perspective as the people marrying, as guests attending, every kind of wedding – modern weddings (pop up food van), traditional weddings (merringue dress), celeb weddings (Britney’s lasted 55 hours!). We watched clips on youtube (don’t search for fatherdaughter wedding dances, oh boy!), we googled wedding gift lists (Game Over toilet paper is available), we read blogs (there are nine tips on how to include your dog in your engagement photos). And we considered buying a lie detector, (how else do you know if they’re telling the truth during the vows) but they cost £100.

4. Be flexible and fast

We knew some ideas would work better on film – so we took them out the show. We decided that at 11am during a meeting one Saturday morning, we wrote those bits up straight away and filmed them that day. We had more wedding content and bits than you’d have at an actual wedding, but that way we got the best bits.

5. Commit to your bits

We are all fans of Connor Ratliff a comedian at UCB. He is king of the slow build comedy bits – he’s run for president (and made a 50 page book to go with that campaign) and trained for the Olympics – team Rio! How could we commit to a wedding show (without getting married)? We could all become ordained ministers! This was an idea from the first ideas generation session, and a few clicks later we’re all ordained and can actually marry people. Do all those extra bits! We made an order of service with wedding advice tips, we gave everyone cake, we’ve even made a film of the wedding.

6. Play to your strengths to create the magic

We all trained at UCB – the Upright Citizen’s Brigade in New York and have a strong improv background so we mixed a lot of our improv skills with empathetically listening to the audience and trying to actually honour the things they wanted. Mean comedy is fine but we genuinely tried to throw someone an amazing party that everyone enjoyed. We chatted to the bride to find out what kind of partner she wanted, if she had thoughts on a dream wedding. We had an outfit for her to wear, we had an elaborate proposal, and during the vows our audience member started to cry “I’m getting married”. Now that’s magic right? Perhaps only slightly bettered with an alarmist cry of “”Wait wait … I want to get a photo” as the two brides cut the cake. Just like a real wedding, our audience didn’t want to miss out on that key photo opp!

7. Make it better

Our wedding show went pretty well, we didn’t have a guest book but people said: “Thanks for having us. Was such a laugh” and “Loved the Wedding show…a riot, great fun!” Next time it’ll be even better, there was definitely magic, but we know there can be more. And so we’ll be working on how to bring that in on the 7 July – when we improvise another dream wedding – someone has already been in touch interested in how to take part. And a friend I’ve not seen in ages has contacted me to find out when we’re doing the show again so she can come along “it sounds so great!”

*seriously any new name ideas welcome

You can get tickets for 7th July show here

Check out Amelia comedy’s improv experience shows on their Facebook page

By Dave McKenna

The tale of how I became the man making the ‘most expensive & offensive thing ever made for the internet.’ Like many of the episodes of The Hateful Tate it started with too much alcohol and spending unnecessary amounts of money. It was a standard night in Margate, there was a rave to attend which began with a buzz and ended in the not so early hours of the next day, with the similar feeling of doom, regret and the question that always lingered. ‘What in the name of Susan Boyle am I doing with my life?’ Arriving back at my basement flat (which isn’t relevant to this article at all really apart from the fact you might think ‘oh Margate that’s nice, sea views, fresh air’… No, There were no sea views, actually no view at all but still the squawk of the Seagulls penetrates. Anyhow, it was in this fragile state of mind that I began talking to my significant other (H) about my next film job and how its going to come about. It was a speech executed not in the style of a leader, giving a detailed plan of the route to victory but more in style of a stuttering modern-day politician when faced with the fact they’ve backtracked on a lie they told months before.

H asked if there was a site specifically for film-based jobs. She saw that as a more realistic & rational approach, compared to my priors pretending to be a qualified electrician just to get on a Bollywood film set (true story, I was sacked after a few hours. Turns out it’s quite difficult to pretend to be an electrician). I knew of one site, FilmandTvpro.com. I’d recruited on it while producing a French Short Film, discovering the finest (well cheapest) filmic folk from the corners of the web. Three out of Five of my recruits turned out not to be completely useless, one of them turned out to be mental and lived with me for a while. So I’d paid the price for my cheap labour, what I hadn’t paid for, as I explained to H that night was a membership for the site.

FilmandTvpro.com allows you to advertise jobs for free but if you want to apply they ask for a £170 annual membership fee, which I deemed absolutely unacceptable & beyond all sensical spending. Telling this to H expecting a similar squashed facial expression and tut from her, I was baffled to find her smiling, telling me to invest. I stood like Teresa May, not in shiny gold trousers but ‘Strong & Stable’, refusing any such expenditure.

I’m not sure if it was the weary hour, the effects of the night before or just plain madness but the next thing I knew H was taping in her credit card details. Now scrolling through the listed jobs with the ability to apply felt incredible, I was empowered. I was freed from window shopping, finally I was a millionaire, and I could make a purchase (application) whenever I felt like it. Despite this initial delight, four or five days passed without an application being completed.

Jobs that I did eventually apply for were standard editing, presenting roles that were naturally ignored as I do have the habit of coming across quite sarcastic in both my CV & cover letter. In fact I’ve never got a job on the merit of my CV, which might make it the worlds worst CV. Fortunately, a job posted as ‘Videographer – to follow a kick boxing world champion around the world with his entrepreneur brother’ required no CV but a short video demonstrating why I was the man for the job.

I remember I made the following video briefly before my friend came over to go to the pub I told him of the opportunity and how I’d applied, questioning whether I should pester the Kickboxer on his personal twitter? I did and showed the video to the pub-wantaway. He hurriedly said ‘its really good mate, yeah its really good … so we going out or what?’. We did and we were ending the night with a curry when a Mr Andrew Tate called to arrange a Skype interview. I naturally stayed out for a few more pints before staggering home for the interview that could lead to the escape from the basement flat.

I spoke to the Tate brothers for about half an hour, we had a mutual understanding of what the series should be within this short space of time. We arranged dates, rates and that was that. I learnt soon after that the Brothers had already employed a filmmaker and were no longer paying attention to the Filmandtvpro applications, it was the personal twitter pestering that had bought me to their attention.

So, the advice I would give to people searching for that elusive comedy job would be the same Ray Kroc the founder/ stealer of MacDonald’s said to himself many a time, ‘Persistence is everything’. However over that it would be that ‘luck is purely a mix of preparation & opportunity’. I’d prepared my whole life by making funny films, and strange documentaries without a patron, no purpose, no need & certainly no viewers. Luckily for me post rave blues credit card generosity/foolishness and two millionaires presented an opportunity for me to utilise such preparation.

By Hans Kracauer

Are you on a quest for the Comedy Pot Of Gold?  So am I.  My name is Hans Kracauer.  I’m a WGA writer currently pursuing my jester’s trade (writer’s division) in Los Angeles.

I come out of advertising.  Specifically – as a (somewhat) acclaimed copywriter in New York.  Although I had always been a writer, I became determined to shift my focus to writing  screenplays.  Or, if need be, to writing  directly for television.  I announced my intention to various colleagues.  The reaction?  I was repeatedly told that (a) I absolutely needed an agent and (b) no self-respecting agent (or even one with zero self-respect)  would touch me unless I had  documented entertainment credits.  Wait a minute, I protested.  What about the fact that I had won numerous prestigious advertising awards? Both for my print ads and for my television commercials?  Wake up and smell the stardust, I was told.  Advertising awards?  You might as well be an award-winning plumber.

Well, it’s no news bulletin that conventional wisdom can be dead wrong.  But at first it didn’t seem that way.  Who cared if I had  already written a feature comedy. In show business, I was a nobody.  Plunking the feature  smack dab in front of a powerful agent was  a sure way not to get it read.  One had to do the deed in stages.  One had to be stealthy.  Therefore I sent out a rather wily pitch letter.  It not only pointed  to  my creative accomplishments in advertising but – as an attachment – included a ten minute comic screenplay I had written for an ad publication.  The screenplay (ultra-broad) centered on the way political correctness had pervaded every corner of the advertising industry.  (Curious? I’m including it here as an attachment.)

Well, you can imagine the aftermath.  My pitch was mostly ignored.  But one major agent did respond.  He read the short.  He then asked to see the feature screenplay.  Next thing I knew, I was being represented by one of the top talent agencies  in Los Angeles.

Did my life suddenly change?  Did everything now come up smelling roses.?  Are you kidding?  Of course not.  The screenplay did not sell.  However, I did wind up with a job writing on a celebrated TV sitcom.  Naturally, the sitcom did not last.  Neither did my agent.  He disappeared under the radar  after losing out in some political power scuffle at the agency.

Hey, it’s Hollywood! I am currently agent-less again. Still there have been compensations.  I can skip down the street with a number of options under my belt.  Plus my prospects are – as everyone intones like a mantra – excellent.

Want to be further enlightened? Visit my screenplay and television web site: WWW.MANICMOONBEAMS.COM.

Good hunting to everyone!